birth day

oh, my dear friends who have walked this journey with me. how much i have to share with you!! i have sat down to write this post several times but something keeps stopping me. all of my experiences from the last couple of days almost feel to precious to spill or to try to capture in words (which i know i will not do justice with), but there is no way i can NOT share the details with the people who have loved & supported us most so read on :).
you know i was scheduled for an induction monday morning. sleep was hard to come by sunday night & monday morning felt totally surreal. like i said before, it was an interesting feeling headed to the hospital to have 2 babies but to not have baby bags packed, carseats in the car, a nursery ready at home. not a SAD feeling, but a little unnatural.

(one last pic in "real" clothes)

(and all gowned up & ready to go!!)

we got to the hospital to get to our room, fill out paperwork, etc about 6:30. i had been really praying about my nurses for the day & God had so obviously picked them out for me! there were 2 (i was in training) & it turned out 1 of them lives just a few houses away from us on tahoe trail!! huge blessing #1 of the day was that my dear friend mimi came in for me (on a day she did not have to, did not get paid for, & had to get a baby-sitter for) to help deliver these girls. i cannot say how grateful i felt to look up & see her walking in my room!! huge blessing #2 of the day was that my photographer friend alison was able to come spend the day with us & capture all of the amazing images of these two parents meeting their long-awaited miracles for the first time. it was so fun to have her be part of the day & to capture these truly once-in-a-lifetime moments.
so, my little L&D room was pretty crowded with shane, ian & amy, my mom, alison, & 3 nurses but truly, it kept my mind off of the fact that i was fixing to have to get 2 babies out. you know my epidural with the twins did NOT work so i told dr. b straight up that WHATever we needed to do to make sure this one did, let's do it. he broke my water at 8-ish but we decided to not really get the pitocin going until my epidural was in & working, because we knew the pit + me dilated to a 4 = a ridiculously fast chain of events. i was really nervous about the epidural also because i have really low blood pressure & the epi can drop your BP as well so i talked that over with the anesthesiologist & he was A-MAZING. it did not really hurt at all & he amped it up so slowly i never had any BP issues--by this point probably blessing #100 of the day. i was never really in pain before the epi & i certainly wasn't after & i cannot explain how wonderful it felt to lay there in no pain! i think i got it around 10:30 & i know about that point i was still a 4 & bummed. heaven forbid i had to labor until after lunch or something :). well, once the epi was in they could crank up my pitocin & i kept telling them to turn it up-ha! somewhere a little after 11 i knew i was feeling pressure with each contraction but thought i was feeling the pressure in the wrong place, plus thought there was no way i had just gone through transition feeling totally fine. my one "training" nurse checked me & said i was a 9, to which i freaked out a little & then my other nurse checked & said no, she's a 10!! i immediately started crying (having JUST been having a good ole time) because i was a little, um, freaked out that it was actually time to go deliver TWO babies!! all i kept saying was to go call dr. b (he was back at his office) because that was another one of my fears...going so fast that he could not make it in time. when i saw his face as they were wheeling me to the O.R. it was THE most welcome sight!! he jokingly asked me, "what took you so long?" (referring to my labor) because i had had my boys by 10 & here we were at 11:30! 
i have to say, wheeling into the O.R. is a little intimidating & my memory of my boys delivery is so fuzzy because all i remember is white-hot pain. i was completely coherent this time & remember every detail. they let shane & amy (baby mama :)) into the O.R. with me & ian waited right out in the hall so he could see in the O.R. window. i will also say that laying & pushing on an operating table is extremely uncomfortable. i remember cheering & counting & pushing through i think 2 contractions before baby A was out. 

(baby A. beautiful caroline rose.)

SO fast. and then guess what happened?? same story, second verse (although the second verse was a whole lot better with a good epidural :))!! baby B flipped (a la cullen watwood) and had to be delivered breech!! as soon as dr. b said she had turned to breech i started freaking out a little. mostly i COULD NOT believe i was fixing to deliver another breech baby!! dr. b told me to not worry, he was a state wrestling champion in new york (true story & hilarious thought) & that he was going to get her out. i think she probably only took 1 contraction to get out because in that situation time is of the essence. 

(baby B. precious london grace.)

baby A was born at 11:44 & baby B at 11:46. by this time we were at about blessing #500 but that was that dr. b made it & was there because again, there are only a few docs in waco that will deliver a breech withOUT a c-section & dr. b is one of them. baby B was out in TWO minutes & i have to think that would have been a needless c-section for something that took only 120 seconds. blessing #501 was that (sorry TMI) i had no rips, tears, etc & so my healing has been incredible & is really letting me jump into my "real life" now.
they immediately let ian in as well as alison the photographer. shane was right by my face talking to me & i was making the nurses reassure me that the babies were okay. there is nothing, NOTHING like hearing the first cries from a newborn. they are beautiful & primal & were complete music to my ears. ian & amy were going back & forth between their new daughters & ian kept telling me how beautiful they were. the girls were a bit smaller than we expected--baby A weighing in at 5 lbs, 13 oz & baby B at 6 lbs, 3 oz but that was blessing maybe #600 of the day in that you can run into trouble when baby B is breech AND bigger than baby A so i feel like their sizes aided in their perfect delivery & in my much easier recovery. perfect health is what we were after & in perfect health they were!!
we were back in our hospital room before we knew it & i loved that ian & amy & the girls were in there too for first baths & first glimpses. amy's parents came in as well & what joy to watch them become grandparents before my very eyes!! 

(brand-new life)

i think my most emotional moment of the day was watching ian, amy & the new parents gaze adoringly at the babies laying together in their little warmer. i looked up at shane & started crying & said, "we made a FAMILY!" (& i know that God obviously created this family but just to be the earthly vessel that helped make this family hit me in the face with emotion at that moment!). i also told shane i felt so foolish for wishing for only 1 baby when we chose to do this because it was so perfectly obvious that BOTH of these girls were always meant to be here & to be a part of this family & the thought if only having 1 of them felt utterly incomplete.

(my utter privilege)

not too long after it was time to go to our postpartum rooms. they wheeled me in a wheelchair & i actually had to be carrying the babies per hospital protocol. while i wished their mama & daddy could have carried them, there is something about the feeling of one newborn in each arm that i remember so clearly with my own boys that feels SO complete & good. it was my privilege to give them a little ride to their room :). the hospital gave us 2 postpartum rooms, one for me & one for ian, amy & the girls. we were right next door to each other which was perfect for plenty of visiting & baby admiring!! i slept SO well in the hospital & perfectly enjoyed NOT having to get up every 3 hours to nurse a newborn :). 

(my partner in crime/life/baby carrying. could not have done it without him.)

the hospital was less emotional than i thought it would be. i loved having the babies right there to see & hold as i pleased & it felt so perfectly right to have them be where they belonged, with their adoring parents. my kiddos came up on tuesday to meet the babies & we got to have about an hour with the watwood 5 & the babies. 

(the C's-cullen & caroline-& the L's-liam & london!)

sophie & cullen held babies & admired everyone the whole time; after about 2 minutes, liam was not too interested :). 

(soph right in her element)

we all stayed 2 nights & headed home on wednesday. i did cry when i told them all good-bye but lucky for me they live in round rock & i anticipate plenty of visits in the future!! i walked out of the maternity unit (no wheelchair for me!) with a nurse who was pushing a cart full of my flowers & belongings & that was maybe the hardest part. even though NO, not ONE part of me wanted to take those girls home (which was a good thing because that would have been illegal), it is still unnatural to walk out of a maternity ward with no baby(ies) in hand. i did feel a little empty, but my eyes were dry by the time i made it down to the car. 
i have already typed SO much & i could type 20 more paragraphs & never capture the emotion of the entire experience. the actual labor & delivery went better than i EVER could have hoped or prayed for. the experience of seeing a family be completed before my very eyes will always be on the list of the very coolest things i have ever witnessed in my lifetime. i pray these images will forever be sealed in my mind. i think the incredible experience i had was just the exclamation point in my mind that this whole thing was (as i always said when i was pregnant) "God's, God's, God's." only He could have scripted their entry into the world as perfectly as it went & i have spent the whole week praising Him for His provision in even the smallest of details. my heart is SO full--fuller than it's ever been. seeing pictures of these beautiful girls on facebook & getting texts from their mama & daddy saying they are "perfect"--uncontainable joy. what a journey. what a blessing. oh, how He loves us...

d-day is SET!!

hi friends!! happy saturday!! this will probably be my last post as a hugely pregnant woman because these girls are being induced on MONDAY MORNING!! yes, less than 24 hours!! i 100% cannot comprehend that i have about 2 days left to {way most likely but i know my God too well to say never} be pregnant in my lifetime. that's pretty nostalgic to me but not something i have room to give much thought to right now. i have a LOT of thoughts going around in my head, believe me you.

first updates will be on the girls. we went to the doctor monday (shane, ian & amy came too) for our last u/s & check-up. i have been going every single week since week 20 & know most of the receptionists & nurses & it will be so weird to not have a stop at waco center for women's health be on my tuesday to-do list anymore. not sad about that one but sad that seeing my beloved dr. b will be a once yearly thing for a well-woman check (NOT fun) as opposed to listening to sweet baby heartbeats.

the girls, no surprise, were perfect. i have said it before, that i know i have nothing to do with the way my body has handled this pregnancy but i seriously tear up in gratitude to the Lord for what my body has been through with 2 twin pregnancies in less than 4 years & how seamlessly they have gone. praise God. when we got pregnant with twins this time i had to see a perinatologist (high-risk OB) once per my dr's office protocol & the doctor scared me to death. i told him all about my pregnancy with the boys & asked him how likely it was that i would get that lucky again & he said, "i wouldn't count on it." he went on to describe that since i was older (he mentioned that twice), my uterus was more lax, etc, etc i should not prepare for as good of an outcome (37 wks + with no complications). well, good doctor, here i stand on the cusp of 37 wks & just want to say HOW GREAT IS OUR GOD!! even if my old, lax body couldn't handle it--HE could & HE did!! hallelujah!!

the ultrasound revealed that the girls growth has slowed down a little, which we anticipated once they hit about my boys combined birthweight (a little over 12 lbs). it looks like we will probably have one in the lower 6's & one in the higher 6's, though at this point they are SO squished that it is very difficult to get accurate measurements. one of the things i am MOST excited about on monday is seeing how much they weigh!! i love that part :). they better be big because this lady sure is. this is my latest belly pic though it is a little over a week old. i will take a final one before i deliver, i PROMISE this one does not do the torpedo belly justice. and i am sorry if you are offended by bare belly shots, please look away :).

 

at tuesdays appointment it was decided for a couple of reasons that a c-section would be best. needless to say, i was NOT thrilled but OBVIOUSLY whatever gets the 3 of us through the birth the healthiest possible is what we will do. i spent a couple of days warming up to the idea. then on thursday i started having some very consistent contractions that were somewhat painful. knowing i was already 3 cms dilated, my dr's office sent me to L&D. God bless my mama for taking me & staying with me the whole day (like 6 hrs) so shane could stay at work. i have never gone into labor on my own so you can imagine i feel like the boy who cried wolf. i was contracting every 1 1/2 to 2 minutes & did progress to a 4 while i was there, but no further. after a long 6 hours (i was SO hungry), they sent me home. although, after one last check with dr. b he DID decide that he thinks attempting to deliver the girls naturally (as opposed to a c-section, N.O.T. as in without an epidural) is a viable option. as my section was already on the books for monday, he just switched it to an induction!! i am so excited to at least get the chance to TRY. if we NEED a section, by all means but if there is no need let's skip the unnecessary major surgery :).
so, i guess that's about it. like i said, i have a million thoughts rolling around in my head that maybe i will blog about post-pregnancy. i will say it is a bit bizarre packing my bag & getting ready to go give birth knowing no baby is coming home with us. no packing baby bags, no infant carrier installed in the car = weird. not bad, just different. i just keep my eyes on the prize of ian & amy meeting their long-awaited miracles & i am good. that & i cannot wait to sleep through the night in the hospital!! not to mention the fact that i do not want a newborn right now!! i look forward to sharing all about the end of this journey with all of you!! thank you for the love & prayers!!

inspirationless

hi friends!! bless my heart, i just haven't been finding blogger-inspiration lately. all i really do nowadays is rest in my bed, switch to the bath, rest on the couch while the kids run around, eat slurpees...you get the idea :). i do have some pics of my sweet kiddos that probably better capture our more recent happenings than i would be able to do...

yes, this is a picture of a picture but this is a big picture hanging up at sophie's school. there is a runners club where the kids have had to run X number of miles at school to be in. these are the only 2nd graders in the whole runners club, & yes that is my girl in the middle of the front row. run, sissy, run!! she comes by it honestly :). (and this mama is SOOOO ready to get back to running!! amen & hallelujah!!)

oh heavens, so mama may not be keeping as close an eye on the wondertwins right now since she is the size of...well...something BIG. i guess i should have noticed when they took a BIG bottle of blue paint outside because they sure did enjoy pouring the WHOLE thing on the front sidewalk. ay yi yi. daddy got them involved in the clean-up but our sidewalk is still a little blue ;).

look who came to town to hang with the miniWatwoods!! it's uncle shawn!! the kids totally think he is like a rock star. he initially came to watch one of sophie's softball games (notice his red pants in support of the ladybugs) but when the rain came in & the game got cancelled, he & shane took the crew to chuck-e-cheese instead. thank you for coming to play with us uncle shawn!!

i just think it's funny that my 3-yr-old (cullen) can dominate the monkey bars. like better than his 2nd grade sister. that is all.

liam, God bless him, is not a monkey-bar-dominator. he is, however, good at climbing to the TIP-TOP of any & all park equipment and scaring mama & or daddy quite a lot ;).

i think this picture thrills shane's heart. he & his twin bro have been playing catch for 30 yrs, & now it's liam & cullen. they each have on their little gloves & you can actually see the ball headed towards liam. i hope they know one day how lucky they are to have each other.

this is the bathroom wall in the kids bathroom. and these are balls of wet toilet paper all over it. while they were taking a bath my precious twinadoes commandeered an entire roll of toilet paper & learned the joys of making wet paper wads that stick on things. a lot of tp was also in the bath water & maybe went down the drain & maybe someone (the non-pregnant parent) had to go get some extra-strength drano that night to unclear the clogs. maybe.

this is soph & BFF lorelei on a recent class field trip. it kills me because when did they get so gangsta?? i mean, the other kids in the class weren't being gangsta. and no, i am nowhere near cool enough to pull off the use of the word "gangsta"--i know that full well.

liam & cullen before crazy hair day at MDO, you can't see it here but they actually had red, blue, & gold tips. i love it when they put their arms around each other all BFF-y. 

the light was obviously coming in at a bad angle here but grammy came to town to catch a ladybug softball game!! lovin' that she wore her red in support!! it has been SO good having sissy back out on the field. 

again, bad lighting but maybe my favorite mother's day gifts. sweet culley's little (forced) underbite smile kills me!! how could i not smile every morning to walk into these little flower pots. one blessed mama, i am.

that's about as good a job i can do right now on updating you on our {crazy, chaotic, but very blessed} life. a picture's worth a thousand words, right?? i do have some news about some baby girls who will be arriving VERY soon but want to do a separate post about that later tonight or tomorrow. in the meantime, happy friday!!! xoxo!!

crunchy mama??

hey friends!! another week down for this crazy pregnant lady who is driving herself nuts wondering when these girls are going to be born!! on monday of this week i was convinced i would not even make it another week, & now i am thinking i will go 2 more. just fyi if i do not go on my own (which i never have before) they will be induced sometime the week of may 20-24th. 
okay so on to my post. as you know, when pregnant there are plenty of meds you cannot take & you just generally have to be more careful about what goes into your body. again, with surrogacy for me this has been heightened just because ian & amy are counting on me & me alone to grow these perfect little girls & so i am just generally more cautious than ever before. so, i have found myself turning to more & more "natural" items & i absolutely love them!! all things i will be using well after this pregnancy!! (and fyi though crunchier than before i still absolutely, 100% want an epidural & to feel LITTLE TO NO PAIN during this delivery! my epidural during my twins birth did not take & it was pretty traumatic--think breech delivery & attempted internal version with no meds--so one of my biggest concerns this time is a WORKING epidural!!)
*probably my #1 biggest blessing this pregnancy has been acupuncture. there is a local acupuncturist that i love (she has twins herself) & it has been nothing short of a miracle in how it has cured my migraines. cured, in that i have not had ONE since i started going right after Christmas. these are actually my legs with needles stuck in them-ha! it is a perfectly relaxing, quiet time for me & i will not hesitate to use acupuncture in the future for any of the MANY maladies it has proved helpful for!!

*i have written about this before but i am LOVING using coconut oil as a moisturizer! this is the brand i use & i get it at HEB for about $10. some moisturizers contain wheat (crazy huh?) & being wheat/gluten intolerant like i am i certainly do not want it all over my skin. the long list of crazy ingredients makes me kind of not want to slather up in it all the time & i feel so good about using coconut oil instead! it smells delish & i love it on freshly-shaven legs, elbows, knees, heels, etc. (P.S. this is NOT to say i do not use "regular" lotion anymore--i do. i just have realized i really prefer coconut oil!)

*this is likely my fave! i love, ADORE warm baths in epsom salt & this particular one smells so good i want to just sniff it all day long!! you can get it at HEB as well, or target, or just about anywhere. even better than the smell is just the BENEFITS of bathing in epsom salt!! what epsom salt is is magnesium sulfate which of course absorbs into the skin while you soak. it is good for body aches (read: 11 lbs of baby in your tummy), sprains, to reduce swelling...the list goes on & on. it is good for pulling impurities out of your skin & some people recommend bathing in it when you are sick. it is great for pregnant women for not only swelling reduction but also the magnesium has been known to help prevent contractions (magnesium sulfate is usually what they put you on if you go to the hospital in pre-term labor!). i seriously spend at LEAST 30 minutes in an epsom salt bath per day & it is literally the highlight of my day (sad!). i can see the TV in my room from my tub so i roll up a towel like a pillow, watch TV & run more hot water in as needed. it is probably the only time of day where i feel NO pain & can breathe totally fine!! and usually no kids bother me either :). win-win!

*okay so this pregnancy i have just been OBSESSED with the smell of lavender. it all started with the epsom salt pictured above. well, i did a little research on lavender essential oil & i was sold!! it literally has like 100 things it is useful for!! i got mine at drug emporium but i know they have it at HEB too. they say it is very calming to put a drop on the wrists & i do love to do that to get a whiff whenever i want. it has also been proven effective to help bring on sleep (you can put it in your bath water or on a tissue that you put in your pillowcase), to put on a burn to decrease pain, on a cut to help stop bleeding, on a rash, ETC. if you try it google its uses because there are SO many!! oh i just remembered something else i read about to try--to put a couple of drops in your washing machine or on a dryer sheet for your dryer--YUM!

*back to the magnesium (like is in epsom salt). this specific drink was recommended to me by my acupuncturist, who herself carried big, full-term twins. i was telling her probably about 24 weeks in about the braxton hicks i was having & how it concerned me. she explained that magnesium is great for smooth muscle tone (as compared to a contracted muscle) & has also proven helpful in keeping blood pressure as well as blood sugar at healthy levels (important both in & out of pregnancy). most prenatal (& regular) vitamins contain very little magnesium, as it is a rather bulky vitamin & so most people are magnesium deficient. also magnesium has had crazy good results at migraine reduction/prevention!! so, in order to get my 100% of the RDA for magnesium, i have been drinking this supplement. you just mix it into water. i will absolutely be drinking it after the babies arrive, as well. google the benefits of magnesium--i was so impressed!

*okay so this is my last thing in my "crunchy" segment, & it too was recommended to me by my acupuncturist when i had a sinus infection & was trying to avoid antibiotics. it is called alkalol & i got mine at drug emporium. it goes in your neti-pot (or similar device) & is a sinus rinse. it contains several different essential oils (it smells very strong-but good!) that are all to soothe sinuses, clear sinuses, kill germs, etc. i mix it with the solution that comes with the neti-pot for a double whammy. definitely worth a try!!

i might feel a little pressure now as if you were coming to my house you would check my foods, cleaning supplies, etc to make sure everything was organic & super good-for-you. that's not the case, i just have implemented a few more "natural" items into our everyday life & have loved it! i will tell you i just ate cheetos with my dinner & still love to clean with bleach, for whatever that's worth! and don't forget that epidural--i know i won't :).

random ramblings from a VERY pregnant woman

excuse me, y'all. i can't seem to put a coherent thought together in real life lately & i certainly don't expect to on the blog. the other night i got out of a really long warm bath with epsom salt, laid down on the couch & told shane i was a dead dishcloth. say whaaaat?? limp dishrag?? who even knows. at any rate, enjoy (?) some random ramblings & pics.
*obviously 90% of the time i am thinking about or at least acutely aware of my ginormo size, lots of baby movement & the fact that pretty much any day i am going to have to get these 2 babies OUT of me. did i tell you yet that at the last u/s both babies were head down?? wahoo!! they are big movers & shakers, especially at night & when i think about 2 big heads, 2 big bottoms, 4 sharp elbows & heels & 40 wiggly fingers & toes inside of me moving around i feel a little nauseous. my stomach is smushed soooo flat that my appetite is officially gone. it was nice while it lasted. i graze all day but a "meal" is about 5 bites. i continue to crave sugar (bad i know) so an almost-daily slurpee, lemonberry slush from sonic, serving of orange sherbet, etc is my highlight right now. (and i told my doc about this & he said, great! the babies are growing great, you do not have gestational diabetes & your weight gain is fine...enjoy!)
*i took a trip to labor & delivery thursday night! i had been feeling many more braxton-hicks than "normal" & they were not subsiding. i called my dr's office & they said if i had 6 an hour to go in. well i did, so i went. they confirmed i was contracting every 3-4 minutes but they were not very strong & were not productive. they also checked me & i was 1 cm. dilated & 50% effaced but they said this was totally normal for how far along with twins i was & considering the fact i had already birthed 3 children. i maybe would not have even gone in if the babies were mine but again, it is this CRAZY responsible feeling i have carrying someone else's  babies & i HAD to know that all was fine & we were not in labor. it was & we weren't :).
*i feel like i have been pregnant for a LIFETIME. i seriously cannot remember what it feels like to hop out of bed & be busy & on the go all day with my kiddos! BUT--i think this will make for an AWESOME summer!! i have never been more ready to PLAY play play with my kids in all my life. this is one reason i REALLLLY do not want a c-section because i know it means a longer recovery (& a longer time of no swimming) & i am so ready to hit the ground running after these girlies are out. i am ready to deep clean my house (esp. my closet), shop for & cook yummy recipes...just to feel a little domestic again. (i know shane is amen-ing this right now!! & just so you know, he does all of this seriously without complaint. we went into surrogacy together & he has never one time said anything to make me feel bad or guilty about all the "extras" he has to do around here. he has painted such a beautiful picture on how to support one's spouse when they pursue God's call in their life!)
*sissy's first softball game back got canceled last week so now her first game back will be monday...watch out!! her excitement level is through the roof!!
okay so now just a few pics of our last week-or-so... 
1--my li-li with one of the best cases of bed-head i have ever seen but also with a boo-boo that had to be glued up at urgent care :(. i wanted to document both!! the boo-boo happened when he was playing around in the rain with a blanket over his head at one of sissy's softball games & fell. God bless his heart. shane was coaching & nana was there too so we tried to figure out the best way to handle the situation. i did not want to take him to urgent care by myself in case he flipped out/had to be held down...i am MUCH too large to restrain or hold him right now, and cullen for SURE did not want to leave the softball game. so sweet nana took liam to u.c. while i stayed at the game with cullen. i have 2 things to say about this: #1, i wish urgent care had a frequent visitor punch card b/c between the 5 of us i am pretty sure we would get free visits every other month or so, & 2, i wouldn't be too surprised if CPS came knocking on our door!! soph's arm, her bloody foot after the nail, & now this?? watch out, watwood's.

2--soph was over-the-top excited to get her cast off for WEEKS until it all came down to this. this is her total "i am not too sure about this" face when that lady was coming towards her with that "saw". shane said she actually started crying at first but quickly dried it up. her arm was actually really sore those first couple of days without a cast & she was upset because she thought it would immediately be as good as new, but as i write this it is doing totally fine.

3--we celebrated daddy's birthday a couple of weeks ago, though i am not going to tell you how old he is because he is not home & i want to ask his permission before i share it on the interwebs. he is closer to 40 than 35, i will tell you that much :). his past birthdays have been spent with things like business trips & me in the dentist's office getting a tooth pulled, so this one was pretty good :)!! we took the kids to eat with nana & boppy at coach's barbeque for his "party." i love for the kids that all you need for a party is a cake & some candles!! we picked him out a texas rangers birthday cake & they were all too happy to sing happy birthday to him & indulge in the sugar :). happiest of birthdays, daddy.

4--just the twinadoes in a bubble bath. they are just so cute & so happy that my heart hurts a little. still can't believe they are mine & that i am a mama of 3 perfect (to me) children. is it just me or are there some days for you too you can't believe YOU'RE the mom?? like when i sign sophie's report cards or something, or when i am driving my minivan & they are all asking me for stuff. they are asking MY permission. they want MY signature. I am responsible for them & I (& shane) am the most important person in their world. hard to believe.

5--sophie & her most favorite person of 2013, melodie brown!! she is the MHS player helping coach sophie's team & soph is INFATUATED with her. recently at one of melodie's games they had senior night (melodie is a sr.) & she invited sophie to come watch. sophie came & brought her flowers & was on cloud nine after the hugs & pics with melodie. she lights up her little 7-yr-old world like no one else can this spring!! what is awesome is that melodie is also a really godly girl who loves Jesus so we can totally tell & show sophie how important it is to let your light shine like that in whatever arena God places you in.

i am impressed if you made it all the way to the end of this post!! THANK YOU for reading & caring through my sporadic & random postings this spring!! have a great week :).

size matters?!?!

ha! as for this post, "size" is referring to 1) the size of the surrotwins & 2) the size of my clothes :).
we had a 32-week sonogram today & the sweet girls i am carrying continue to be, um, huge. i know it's not nice to call a lady huge but in their case it's not a bad thing ;). to be fair, the girls were not "just" 32 weeks today, they were 32 weeks, 4 days. the "petite" baby A is weighing in at 4 pounds, 11 ounces (which is in the 76th percentile--for singletons!) & chubbers baby B is a whopping 5 pounds, 10 ounces...the NINETY-FIFTH percentile!! this is 10 pounds, 5 ounces of baby total--my doctor was in shock!! and i obviously have nothing to do with these girls growing so well (though my theory is my already-super-stretched uterus) & have nothing to do with my own continued good health (low bp, etc.) but i could not be more thankful to the Lord for the awesome development of these girls. it's funny, i almost am MORE nervous about their good health, good size, no NICU than i was with my own boys. i just feel SO responsible for them (which i am from an earthly standpoint--100%)!! i kind of expect their growth to slow down once we reach the combined weight of my own boys (just over 12 pounds), but we will see!! here is what big mama is lookin' like at 32 weeks...

okay so the other part about "size" is how distorted your self-image is when you are pregnant. some people feel like a cow when in reality they are really teeny, or some feel smaller than they really are, which is apparently the camp i am in, as i will evidence for you below...

okay so these are the target nursing tanks that i bet about 95% of you mamas who have nursed before have also worn before. i still have a stash of them that i have not thrown away because hey, they are not maternity & who would toss a perfectly good tank??

so the other day i grab one to wear under something because i love the shelf in it as it means i get to skip other, um, more restrictive undergarments. i just KNEW all of my tanks were mediums & was feeling pretty impressed with myself that it fit fairly well...a medium, non-maternity tank. maybe i am not as big as i actually think i am!! so that night i take it off to throw it in the wash when i notice the size on the tag. say what?? yep, EXTRA-LARGE. hmph.

i was loaned a beautiful mimi maternity dress this pregnancy that i tried to break out a few weeks ago. this picture below is NOT the dress, but it is the same material...shiny with no give whatsoever. so this dress below is basically just like it, but the one i was loaned was a size small. (i was pregnant with the boys in this pic & carly was pregnant with miles, fyi!)

i realize a size small is, well, small but the waistband thing-y is elastic & surely my arms & such are not that big?? so i huff & i puff & get it probably halfway on when i realize...it is not budging anymore, in any direction, & i need shane's help immediately to free myself from this dress. i go find him & God bless him i know he was wondering why the HECK was she putting this dress on but he did not say a word. he just pulled & tugged until the thing was off & may or may not have left red indentions all over my torso. so much for the size small.

no pics of my last size story because it's about a sports bra & let's face it, we all know what sports bras look like. i went to marshall's to get a sports bra to wear at the hospital on delivery day. keep in mind i WAS looking for a big sports bra, not a tight one like you would normally wear. i wanted it big & roomy to be comfortable enough not to constrict or strangle me while i was in labor. i grabbed one on a hanger marked XL, went to the dressing room & tried it on. nice & roomy, not tight, & $6.00 to boot. i buy it feeling all proud that it was only $6 only to get back, see the tag on the actual bra (not the hanger) &...are you ready for it...size 3X. holy moses. this lady is obviously suffering from a case of size distortion.

super softball-lovin' sissy

here we sit 6 weeks to the day that sophie broke her arm & only THREE days from cast removal!! HOORAY!! the HARDEST thing by far for sissy has been softball & not being able to play games with her team. she dresses out & goes to every practice & every game but it's a little boring hanging in the dugout alone :/. regardless, she has had an AWESOME attitude about it & always has a smile on her face about anything softball-related (except maybe a loss :)). here's a few pics of our broken-armed, softball-lovin' girl...

she likes to practice at catcher because of course she wears her mitt on her non-broken arm and then she just rolls the ball back to the pitcher. that's one happy catcher right there!!

you might as well pose & look cute & wear an outfit to match your cast...

okay these pics are a little out of sequence but the COOLEST thing just fell in our laps this year. at our first practice the softball commissioner walks up to shane with a high school girl by his side. he talks to shane & explains this girl plays softball for midway high school (she is an AWESOME 3rd baseman!) & she would like to help coach a team in her free time, & would that be okay?? um, HELLLLOOOO?? is that okay?? more like YES, PLEASE!! so this precious girl's name is melodie & she talks to shane & says there is a future panther night at the high school & maybe could sophie come out on the field with her that night with some other little leaguers?? um, twist our arms a little, melodie...

this is melodie with her arm around sophie & they are getting ready to go on the big field.

they got to be out there playing catch with each other, shake hands with the ump & sing the national anthem with the team. it was so fun to watch her proud little face from the stands!!

this was that same night at the high school taken by sophie's precious teacher. soph is wearing a different shirt than us because she won a raffle & got that shirt as a prize!! it was her lucky night!! (& on the back of that shirt, which is THE midway high girls softball shirt, is a Bible verse. i LOVE that & think it is so cool!!)

this is sophie with her teacher ms. lightsey's little girl maddie grace. sophie idolizes her & loves that maddie grace's team is red like hers. this is SUCH a genuine smile from sissy & you just know she had the time of her life that night. (she is also holding a softball signed by the whole team, which is pretty cool!!)

melodie also gave sophie a bag full of really cool surprises that night!! she MADE her this shirt & darling pair of flip-flops!!

the back of the shirt...awesome, no??

they also took a pic of all the "future panthers" with the current MHS panthers. if that night did not seal the deal on sophie L-O-V-I-N-G midway softball, she is now in 100%!!!

i am pretty sure i have never had a little girl more excited to get that stinky cast cut off on thursday so she can start playing again!! we are fully realistic that she has not FULLY played in a long time (practicing one-handed is way different than actually playing obviously) but we are just so ready to see her doing what she loves again. GOOOOO LADYBUGS!!!!!!